Mummy's need Mummy friends

Before I had F, none of my friends had children, and once I moved in with M, got engaged, bought a house and announced I was pregnant I began slipping away from them. I moved to a different area of town, had bills to pay (most of my friends still lived/live at home) so going out was a bit of a luxury. I barely saw anyone. Going down the ‘local’ (15min drive for me!) pub during the week for a few drinks was going to cost me a lot of petrol and a meesely glass of coke due to driving. I was on a different path now and my life was leading away from my childhood and my childhood friends. Not because I didn’t like them anymore, it’s just where my life was taking me.

Once I found out I was pregnant I began to realise that I was going to have no-one to relate too. No mummy friends. So I went onto the netmums website and used the ‘meet a mum’ boards and met a wonderful person. She is now my best friend.

Meeting Cathy was one of the best things that happened to me while I was pregnant. Having someone to share those tough times with, share your children’s experiences, offer advice and generally have a good gossip! Also F now has two wonderful playmates I don’t think I would be as sane as I am if it wasn’t for Cathy. She has been there for me through some difficult times. We have shared many cups of tea and play dates. I really do feel Cathy will be my friend for life now. She is a fellow blogger, check out her blog. Its wonderful, honest, funny and full of lovely baked treats www.jackandlils.com



I was lucky enough to meet two other lovely ladies at my antenatal classes and we all live within a 2min walk of each others houses. We all had our babies within 2 weeks of each other. Its been lovely to share the experience of bringing up out little ones with others. We have shared many dates at costa…its where I got hot chocolate addiction from! Thanks ladies There’s a good chance our children will go to school together and become very good friends. I hope we all stay close as I think it will be lovely for all of us to watch them grow and remember when we were first time mum’s having no clue! Lol

Without my ‘Mummy Friends’ I wouldn’t have got through some tough times. I wouldn’t have people to relate too and that it something which I find really important. Having people I can relate too. I think I would feel very lonely if it wasn’t for these special people in my life.

I find and I am meeting new mummy’s all the time, which means F has more friends too. Having lots of friends is less important to me now. Its having friends I get on with, have similar opinions and views or who can accept mine, and having someone I can have a good gossip with. Being alone when you are a mum must be the worst thing. I often think about moving too a town close to me as its cheaper to live. But I just couldn’t. I’m settled where I am. I have friends nearby, my family nearby. I pay a preium to live in the area I do but you really can’t put a price on happiness. And thats something I definitely have by being near my friends and family.

The people I grew up with I haven’t forgotten. I speak to them occasionally. Some of the may be reading this. I am just on a different path and in a different place.

“Your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you, and it doesn’t mean they are bad people. It just means that their part in your story is over.”

From thinking about needing mummy friends, I do find I seem to home in on mummies too! I can relate to people, no matter what their age if they are a mummy. It’s a special mummy connection. I know many people who don’t have children and I get on with them just as much. But I do find how they think, there opinions and attitudes are completely different to mine. It reminds me of who I used to be. I was once them. No children, so no one else to think about, different worries, fears and priorities. It makes me smile Having children really does change you and takes you on a new journey. You lose touch with some friends, make new ones and grow into a different person yourself. Its something which I thought would never happen to me before I had children. I was sure I would keep the friends I had, keep the same opinions, attitudes, I knew what kind of mother I wanted to be and I was going to do this and that…I was nieve. I am very nieve, its part of my personality. But I don’t see it as a negative thing. I smile when I think about who I was and who I have become. I think a younger me would have been surprised, shocked but happy with who I am now. And I am sure I am going to change and grow much more.

Me today  

Any expectant mummy’s or new mummy’s out there reading this, I hope you have some mummy friends around you. I really think it is key to helping you through that first tough year and becoming more sure of yourself as a mummy.

To all of my friends and family…. I love you. I may not see many of you regularly but I still think of you, and I am lucky enough to have friends and family I don’t need to see every week, but we can pick up where we left off and have a good catch up